Crazy how life changes

How terribly sad this little corner seems as of late. I have been so negligent on my posting and have even taken to less photography. It saddens me and I don't know why. Life is full and lovely and hard and breaking all in one fell swoop. My girls grow older by the hour and so does my heart. It is vast and wide, this life we live. It is short and fast. It lasts but a moment and then it has passed us by.

Yes, I am alluding to somethings in particular but they are truly of a private family matter. I have never liked it when things are alluded to without sharing but I get it now. There are things that really change a life and yet they are to private to share. It explains that there are hardships going on in the lives of ones we care for but we cannot know the details and for now that is where we are. 

Suzie and Jade you will understand when you are older. You will know where this is coming from when you read it. That is all that matters for now.

As for today? There is still joy, great joy even in the midst of great sorrow. I know not how this can be other than the saving Graces of our Lord and savior.

These pictures are from a little while back. Shortly after these were taken my camera started acting up. It suddenly quit taking pictures. Something in the mechanics seemed to fail. Paul was able to jar it back into working order but I must admit it has not instilled the desire to have the camera out often. I am in the process of looking into a new one but I feel I don't even know where to start. It has been years since I last looked into cameras and my knowledge is slim at best. I am interested in one with video capabilities but am not sure where to begin.


But I really must get back into the swing of things. I do love it so.




Yellow rain boots. YES!


The kids were playing hide and seek. This was jades hiding spot. This is the front side of the tree when facing it from the flower garden.





They got a hold of some side walk chalk and were going strong on a piece of wood. We don't really have side walks outside of our yard.





Well there you have it, entry first-in-a-long-time and maybe last-in-as-long-of-a-time.
Sorry for the vagueness of the post and the disconnectedness of it all. Maybe I will get back into it and then be more organized. And maybe I won't. Crazy how life changes.

For the girls

I keep wanting to sit down here and write up a little blog post but there is something that stops me. I think I've figured it out. I keep thinking of why I used to sit here. What was my drive to be so on top of keeping up to date? Sadly it was not what I said it was.

I wanted to be noticed. I cared what people thought. I wanted to be noticed outside of my little world. I wanted to have people comment, I cared about how many views each post got. I know I have said in the past that I write here for my girls but I am sorry to say that was not true, not fully.

The past weeks as I think about sitting here I worry that I cannot string words together in a pleasing manner. I want to have "great" stories to tell vs. the mundane day to day.

So now I remind myself that it is the mundane that maters. It is the life I live with my family. This is what I do. Little snippets of a quiet life. Of a life lived in quiet. (or noise but it's simple noise).

When the world all around keeps telling me that I must produce the most astounding of photos and the fullest of words I wonder at what my contribution is worth. But when I look into the steel and sky blue eyes of my girls I remember what really matters. Why I am really here. SO...

Suzie and Jade this ones for you.

Remember this guy?

Remember when we went to Grandpa and Grandmas just to play with him.


He loves the snow. Even when you throw it at him.


Plop!!


Jade you probably don't remember how you felt when he jumped up on you. But I can say that it wasn't your favorite. He thought you were a big moving toy and so much fun. You thought it was a bit annoying how he bit at your mitts. That's why your hands are where they are in this picture.


Climbing the snow plowed mounds in the front yard at Gr.pa and Gr.mas




You thought your were out of Ree-bar's rough housing reach. Turns out you were wrong.






Oh little Ree-bar you're a cutie.




I don't think he looks to impressed.


Jade you liked to pretend you were a myriad of creatures. Here you are being a snake I believe.




And the interactions with the older Orange Cat. (yes that is his name). At first Orange Cat was not too sure but he started to warm up to Ree-bar. Grandma said this was one of the best interactions so far. Actually playing together.










Puppy nose and tongue.


Grandma and her new baby.


Here they are, those steal blue eyes. Love the bow in your hair. A bow from some wrapping that you found in the guest room and took it upon yourself to put it upon yourself. Love you my dear sweet Suzie.




Exploring the window fogged by your breath. Oh how I do love you too my dear Jade.

I Think you two to be the two sweetest girls I know. Funny how any mom will say that about their girls. Well It's true. When you talk about the changes that will take place in your lives when you are "mommies" I imagine the changes right along with you. Look so forward to watching you grow and mature. Love to see the little girls you are and the little women you will be one day.

Jades Day a Month ago.

This post was mostly written a few days ago but the rest was finished today. I don't doubt that you will be able to figure out, approximately, where the transition happens.

This year for the Beans birthday we kept it simple. Paul had finished his last day of school only the Friday before her Sunday birthday and was not feeling up to having a whole crew of People cramped into our small kitchen. And as the weather outside was not conducive to what we did last year we went with a small grouping of just us four.


This year Suzie chose Jades icing color as Jade is still to young to really have her own opinion. She asked for dark purple (Suzie that is).


We kind of ended up with a muddy blue instead. No worries, she put on the sprinkles and the thing was a beaut.








And it's all ready for the candles and a little song.


Admiring the cake together. These two are becoming something great in the world of sisterhood.






Awaiting the cakes arrival.









And here are a few cake eating pics...



...Cause, why not. I have not a lot to say as I am not feeling that well as I write this and can only really think about the bath I have planned for myself.




I hope your week has been great and that your weekend plans are full (or empty, depending on what you would like to see). I know for me I just hope that I can say that I am healthy and that I can get back to doing stuff other than sitting around.