Thursday, May 2, 2013

Me time? hmmm...

I awoke this morning, early, as I do every week day morning. Hoping for my hour of solitude before the day began. I spend this time preparing my mans lunch for work. I start the water boiling for the oatmeal that I will share with my girls. I sit and read my devotions and just settle into the day before it runs off without me.

This morning was not as I planned. The girls awoke early with me and turned it upside down. Intermingled in the lunch prep and breakfast making were the needs of my girls. Both seemed a bit wrong-side-of-the-bed-ish. My patience was thin and I just wanted my personal space. What I really wanted to say was "leave me alone, this is my time, for me."

As the morning cascaded into the little stream of living that it usually does I sighed a little sigh. One that, unless you know me, you wouldn't know that it meant anything. My husband knows me. He asked what was wrong. My answer? "The girls were up earlier than I would have liked and that makes the selfish part of me sad". I spoke the truth. It was all for me that I wanted that time to myself. I could have made reason as to why I deserve it or why I need it. What makes it necessary for me to have that time. In truth, I do not Need it, I want it. It is MY time and I want it for Me.

Once the words left my mouth my husband had a little chuckle over them and that is when I let it go. The truth set me free. When I saw it for what it was I was able to get over myself and move on.

Now, while they nap, I am going to do the reading I had planned on doing this morning. And if they awake early? Will I be able to let go of "my time" again? That is a good question. I really hope I don't have to find out.

May it be that I let go more of myself and hang on more dearly to that which is of utmost importance. Daily. Hourly. By the minute. And that in this I might see the truth.

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