Friday, February 22, 2013

Last week, the 14th

Last week there was this day that the calender tells us we need to show love to the ones we love. I have struggled with this day for years. It seems when I was with someone I wanted them to fulfill the obligations set before them by the calender. When they didn't or at least not to my expectations I was hurt. Thankfully I was not in many relationships before Paul. But the sad part is that it had passed on into my marriage.

I knew that I should not feel this way. I know that I should not expect something cause of a silly calender date. The past years I have fought the hurt. This year there was a break through.

This year I was and am thankful for the family I have. I am blessed with a man that shows me love in his own way, not stooping to any social conventions.

And this year I really believed it. I knew it in my heart. It was not just a head thought that I had to fight when he "didn't come through" with the flowers, chocolate, cards, date......

Instead I made him an apple pie, his most favorite. And I made it because I love him. Yeah I want to do things for him at any time because I love him but I still wanted to do something special. So I did. And I did not expect anything in return.

When he was a little later than expected I wondered if he had indeed gone out to get something for me.

When he came home there were donuts. I knew that this was for our family, this was not a romantic gesture and I was cool with that. I didn't feel hurt or disappointed. In fact I was happy. Happy he was home and that he had bought donuts. He asked if it was okay that the donuts trumped the pie for our girls. And of course I was. I was happy that it meant more pie for my man.

The evening was spent with the girls and my love. It was quiet and simple. It was peaceful. Paul studied and I did what I do most evenings. Just life things.

And then I cleaned out his lunch bag. There it was. His token of love. A note written out for me. He talked on how he had tried. He had stood in the Valentine isle with the intent but a few things caught his attention.

1: The shelves were pretty near cleared.
2: There were many a desperate looking man standing in line saying these words in their heads "Oh Shit! I forgot" He knew this cause he can read body language better than I can.
3: This day is totally over marketed and over done all for the corporate and he just couldn't be a part of it.

4: The poor little stuffed bear holding the limp rose could never say what he wanted to say.

And the rest of the letter was him saying it. In his own words telling me why he loves me. Telling me that he would do it again, today, marry me. Maybe not in those words but his heart was on paper and my tears of joy spilled forth.

I am so proud of my man. He works hard to show his love to us and I could not have asked for a better man. In fact I didn't know what I was turning down all those years ago. I thank God that Paul waited for me and loved me always.

I am a blessed woman.

I am a loved woman. I could never put into words the truth of it. In his arms I am loved.

P.S. I did the girls hair all pretty for when Paul got home but it was only five minutes after the pictures were taken and the hair was every where. I knew it would be so but it was fun for the moment.

1 comment:

  1. Love this post! This is exactly how I feel about Valentine's Day too! It's so overrated and yet a feeling of expectancy is always that you were truly happy this year regardless! That pie is beautiful and looks delicious and the girls' hair, adorable!! And, love that you found a sweet note from your man too...those are the things that really count and the ones I treasure the most! Our little guy was born on Valentine's Day which is ironic given how I feel about the day, but at least I'll always have a little Valentine, right? :) xoxo


Thanks for stopping by. I would love to hear what your thoughts are on your New Life.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...