This kind of worked.

I was determined to let go of my desperate desire to marry and hoped that if I took to the air and over seas that this might just work. I would love to say that I totally forgot my longings but that would not be the truth. While in the belly of a boat between Estonia and Sweden, all alone and rocking through the night I turned 21. I was in the middle of the biggest adventure of my life and I was still disappointing that I was alone. I wanted to share my road with the one that I would share my life with. But I could not. I had not yet realized that he was back home and in love with me. I had not yet given in to him.

Much happened on this six month journey. I met many people and traveled many places but that is not what this story is about. It is about what happened when I got home. I came home in a new shape. I was a little blacker and a little rougher around the edges and softer in the middle.

I looked different but my heart had stayed true to form. I only wanted to love and to be loved. And I hate to admit that most of my life I kind of resembled "the ugly one" in this episode of teen girl squad. There is one line in there that, if I had spoken the truth, would have been my line through out my teens and long into my twenties.

But here's the thing. I had never been on a date. And there he was in the back ground of my life, adoring me from a distance. When I had been home from my travels for a bit my oldest brother suggested that I give him a chance.

"Angie, He's a great guy, Go out with him. Give it a try."

And so he asked me out at the end of our lane in the dark night under the stars.

A picture taken in South Africa. I think I looked like this a lot of the time.

Me and my two main buddies while in South Africa. I knew a lot of people on this trip but I think while with them I was the most free to be me.

This is one of the first "boys" I did not have a crush on or wonder or care if he had one on me. I just liked hanging out with him and as you can see he kind of influenced my style. He was like a younger brother.

Here I am back home.

And then I did this. This is the main reason I got the dreads in the first place. I had always wanted to try this and I figured if I totally destroyed my hair I would have no option but to remove it in one fowl swoop. And so remove I did.