Tuesday, March 12, 2013

The second time around

You already know this. We have two kids. We have two girls. They are similar and they are vastly different. Here's what you may not know at this time. The second one is becoming a JOB. It is work to help her navigate this life right now, for any time ANYTHING does not go her way there is a full out tantrum. Throwing her body to the floor kicking, screaming. The works. She has not left any tactic unused and has not given up on them even when they do not work. She just works them harder. She is determined to get her way through any means possible.

But here is the really cool thing with having a second child go through this. You've been here before.

That may not sound like a whole lot of fun, doing something again that you have already done once before. But there is something in this that brings comfort.

Here is something else you may not know, our older child has had  a click as I like to call it. There seems to be these stages where things are rough. They struggle to understand life and you struggle to understand them. There is a training that must take place. A process of guiding them through the stage, of helping them to grasp understanding of life. It starts out slow, picks up momentum, seems to be impossible, and then Suddenly. CLICK!! Something has switched over. They get it. They seem to have that new understanding of the world around them. I can't even explain it. It often feels as though I have done nothing different and in fact I take no credit for the click. It is a process. And it is a maturing. One day they are a baby, then a toddler. Then suddenly without your realizing when the change took place they are a child.

I've seen it, many times with Suzie. The slow, nearly invisible struggle that suddenly becomes a hurricane in the making. The storm surrounds you and you feel unprepared. Then just as it came rushing in it ends with a sigh. And there it is a new world. Thankfully you were prepared you just didn't know it. You look around expecting disaster but instead find all the trash has been scooped up in the winds and sent off to a land unknown. There is some residue, a few things to pick up here and there. The rains come and go just as they always have but the rain is mild after that monster storm.

Will there be more storms? Heck yeah!! (sorry that is how I would respond if you were in my head) In fact the second storm by another name is raging all round at this moment but we've done this. We've been through the storms and seen the other side. The sunshine after is always so much brighter. So I'm going to step into that crazy whirlwind, right in the middle, and I'm going to smile and laugh. (I will also struggle to stay standing at times) but you get what I mean. 

So raise your glasses with me and lets salute the storms. Not cause we think they in themselves are awesome but because we know that we can get through them and come out better people together. Stronger as a whole and as individuals. Holding hearts and hands while we watch it rage.

P.S. I know you can't believe a word of this post cause the pictures that accompany the words don't show you what I am talking about but that's okay. I wouldn't want you to remember her in the way I describe anyhow. Cause she is really a sunny little Bean who seems to be in  hot pot that's boiling over right now. 

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