Friday, April 13, 2012

On friends and being a friend

All the photos in this post were taken in November of last year. They are pictures of Suzie "writing" a
letter to great Grandma in BC and then mailing it. I thought they fit well with the content of this post as it is about doing something a little out of the everyday for someone we care about. So here goes on the post.

Last night I called a friend. I mean I called a dear close friend whom I have not spoken to in what may turn out to even count as years. She is dear and near to my heart. I grew up with her. She is the one that has known me since I was born. I mean it. Born.

My sweet cousin who cared for me as a sister. I never had a sister growing up but I had the best of both worlds I would say. One who loved me as a sister but when we were done with each other (which was not that often) we did not have to share a room or even a house. Last night we visited like it had only been yesterday (okay that was yesterday that we talked I guess I should say "the day before yesterday") It was wonderful. She can get me to laugh like no other. I had forgotten how hard I laugh when I am with her.

Lately I have been thinking on my "lack" of friends and what I could do about it. I realize that I do not lack friends I am just not a very good friend. Oh I know some might beg to differ, they would not want me to talk down on myself that's because they are good friends. But I do know that I have a slacking mentality when it comes to acting like a friend. I procrastinate on writing that e-mail that I have been thinking I should write for, oh say, years! Yikes!! or making that simple phone call, it only takes 7 to 10 digits punched into a phone. Really it is not that hard. I do walk over to my dearest friends house once a week or so but that is on a whim more often than not.

Well that was something I did different yesterday as well and I liked it. I called her up, we made plans. Okay so we didn't go anywhere. In fact we didn't set foot outside of her house but it was planned. I brought coffee and a treat, we purposefully sat down to a hot cup of coffee made for that exact occasion. And we enjoyed an hour of "away time" together. We both had all of our kids with us, we were interrupted to care for them or listen to their little stories. But!! it was planned. It was set up.

Don't get me wrong, unexpected is fun. It can be a little adventure. There is plenty of merit to the unexpected. And there is a glorious freedom in the planned. Freedom in a plan? Really? How can that be. A plan means a schedule, even if it is short or not set down to the minute.Yes, but it also means no thinking about how long should I stay, am I interrupting their day? Should I get going cause I have stuff to do at home and this was unexpected so I am still actually in the middle of something?

None of that, just sit and talk. Drink coffee. Indulge because it is time together. For the heart. For the friend ship. For the love of life shared.

Thank you to all of my friends. I thank you for caring for me. For loving me. Being there for me when I need a hug, even if it is displayed verbally or in a small gift.

Now I need to remember this, to remember that it is worth it for so many reasons. Just let my "busy" schedule go and enjoy the freedom of making plans with friends.

How do you show friendship to those you care about? Simple or complex all are special when the plans are made with love.

1 comment:

  1. Funny you should write this, I was thinking how I don't phone many of my friends anymore. Why? Because they are busy. I don't want to interrupt becuz they have little kids and I may interrupt a nap, etc etc etc.
    Then I thought of something else. A saying that we all say. Something about having a bad time, then you'll know who your true friends are. Maybe that saying should be "when the rubber hits the road, you'll know what kind of friend you were." It has been haunting me.


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