Monday, July 11, 2011

Rough days always melt away.

Today Paul and I furnished Suzie's play house. Yes, she has a play house outside that is to die for. It has been a work in progress and Suzie has been much anticipating the day she could enter.

Well today she was free to roam in and out as she pleased. And let me tell you she pleased.
After supper Suzie brought her bun to the play house to eat at her table on her plate. I went out there this evening to close the door and found the bun right where she had left it. She is in bed now and some how, picturing her out there sitting in her own little house made my heart skip a beat. How can it be that I picture her moving out already? I know, how on earth did I get that thought from one silly little bun on a lonely yellow plate? Don't ask me. I have this sudden urge to run up to her room and hug her. Take her warm sleepy body into my arms and just give her all the hugs she could take. I can hardly stand the love I feel for these girls some days. It fills my heart to the brim and then over.

This all comes in to warm my heart as today was not the easiest. Actually today was really not that bad. The struggle in this day lay in my attitude. For some reason I was stressed. I wanted to have things progress my way and with children in amongst the day that is a rare thing. You see, if you don't know me very well, you don't know that I often have a plan. A plan to do something. It doesn't really matter what cause there is always something that I would like to get done.

For some reason today I had a hard time letting go of the control I wanted over my situation. I got frustrated and felt tired of my family. That feeling brings on other feelings of displeasure with myself. How could I feel this way? And then a lonely bun brought me back to the warmth of my girls hearts. I no longer wished to run from them but instead to them. Pick them both up and hug them. To grasp every moment as these days go slipping past me into a place where I can only go in memory.

These days are short, they only last for a moment and then a year passes and then two. And suddenly my girls will move out.
I can't imagine the lives they will lead. I hope they are full of love. I hope the days they are frustrated are short and few. I hope that they always know I loved them even on the hard days.

And the day they have little ones of their own they'll get it.

Just like I finally get it. The love,

Of a mother and father,

It is beyond all scope and measure. It is unexplainable. You cannot grasp it till you live it and even then you will not fully know. Just as I find myself still learning day to day how deep this love really flows. The depths of a raging river under the calm of a cool stream.

1 comment:

  1. So true...we don't know how our parents felt until we actually feel it ourselves. How much they love us and hurt for us too.


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